Finding your people

Why writers need other writers

Welcome to the free newsletter of David (D. V.) Bishop, author of the Cesare Aldo historical thrillers set in Renaissance Italy. This time: why writer friends matter…

You’ve got a friend in me*

Someone on social media recently published a list of great suggestions for emerging writers and people contracted for a first novel. They also asked other authors to reply with any ideas not on the list. One glaring omission stood out for me: there was nothing about the absolute necessity of finding your people as a writer.

Every writer needs friends who are also writers, ideally around the same career stage as them. Yes, they will already have regular friends plus people who love and support them. But that’s not the same as having some writer friends who are going through the same things as you, roughly at the same time. Trust me, it’s a godsend.

Every writer needs a writer friend or three • Photo by Surface on Unsplash

This is one of the biggest benefits in creative writing courses and degree programmes. Yes, you hopefully got lots of feedback and focused attention on your work, along with deadlines (always helpful) and solid teaching on technique. But, crucially, you may well find your people, fellow writers at a similar stage in their journey.

While it’s great to be mentored by a writer with more experience, that is more of a teacher and student dynamic. People around the same stage as you will be having similar experiences, so you can share triumphs and tragedies, breakthroughs and breakdowns. They will understand all of your hopes and frustrations and traumas.

You don’t need to be writing in the same genre. I would suggest it’s the career stage thing which matters most because this is about having an ally for similar experiences – querying agents, going on submission, coping with rejection, tearing your hair out over structural notes or infuriating copy edits, worrying about reviews and sales, etc.

You’ve got troubles, and I’ve got ‘em, too*

When things go sideways for writers, it is very tempting to vent your frustrations. But doing so in public or on social media is not often a great idea. You never know when someone significant might stumble on that angry comment you made in haste late one night when some bitter disappointment had gotten the better of you.

Angry outbursts are best done in private, among sympathetic friends…

Having a writer friend means you can reach out via DM, WhatsApp or your messaging service of choice to blow off that steam, to douse the flaming cauldron of your rage. Far better to do it out of harm’s way, rather than inadvertently invoking eternal enmity. By all means get angry, but only share that with author friends you trust.

Your family and non-writer friends will always do their best to sympathise, but they can’t fully understand the particular kinds of hurt this career can dish out like another writer can because they will never experience those very specific kinds of wounds. Having a writer buddy with you in the trenches who knows your pain is a lifesaver.

Every writer suffers with doubt and worry. Will my editor like this new draft? Will readers come along for this new story I want to tell? Will I get an agent? Will I get a book deal? If I get my first contract, will I get another? So much of this worry stems from the fact writers have little control over most parts of their career.

Prizes, bestseller lists, marketing budgets, promotional efforts, festival invitations, reviews, special editions, book club picks – writers get next to no say over most of these. But an author friend can step up when disappointment crushes is great, so long as you remember to step up for them when the time comes that they need support.

Some other folks might be a little bit smarter*

By now you might be thinking, well, I’m a writer and having other writers as friends sounds great, where do I find them? Good question. As noted above, a writing course can be a great place to build such friendships, but not everybody can afford that in these straitened times. So, where else might you look for a writer friend?

I suggest going to a literary festival. It doesn’t have to be one that specialises in your genre, as that might be hard to find. There are a load of crime writing events, for example, but historical fiction festivals are few and far between (if you know of any, please mention them in the comments, I’d love to find some more!).

Anyway, the point is not the festival but the people attending it. Lots of them are readers, but some will be other emerging writers who have come to hear established authors speak. Most literary festivals involve queuing or waiting. Whenever that happens, get talking to the people in front, behind or beside you.

Might a potential writer friend be lurking in a queue? • Photo by Meizhi Lang on Unsplash

Ask them what they’re reading at the moment, and what they’re hoping to get from the event. If you are very shy, this can seem an insurmountable challenge – but give it a go. You might find another writer, someone to natter with. That’s how I found two of my best writer friends while standing in the coffee queue at a festival event.

If this isn’t possible or practical, try a writers’ group locally or online. My experiences with the former are mixed as local groups often attract a wide range of writing and aspirations so it is hard to find someone with whom you click. That’s where writing in similar genres can be helpful, it overcomes some of those barriers.

If anyone has any other suggestions, share them in the comments!

Progress report

I did hit 60,000 words by last Tuesday, but that wasn’t quite the end of Act Two for my work in progress. It needed another 1500 words which I added while polishing the Creative Writing PhD thesis I’ve been labouring on part-time since 2017 (blessedly, the bloody thing got submitted on Friday, what a relief!).

Since then I’ve reviewing and revising my most recent 20,000 words, which inevitably cut the total to a whisker under 60,000. By the time you read this I hope to have plotted out the final quarter of the novel and may have started drafting it. But as I type this, I’ve no idea how the book will actually end… Onwards!

*Headings borrowed from the lyrics to ‘You’ve Got a Friend In Me’ by Randy Newman, better known as the theme song of the Toy Story films.

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